The awards season is here and that means one thing – Oscar Levant quotes! For those unfamiliar, Oscar Levant was an American pianist, composer, conductor and actor who was one of the most influential entertainers of the twentieth century. He was also known for his memorable quips and witticisms that helped make him an endearing figure to many.
We’ve collected 50 of Oscar Levant’s best quotes here that will make you both laugh and think. Whether you’re looking for insight into the entertainment industry, wisdom about life and relationships, or a good chuckle, we’ve got you covered. So, without further ado, here are some of the greatest Oscar Levant quotes that will make you smile.
1. “I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.”
2. “I’m so tired I don’t know whether I’m coming or going. One thing’s for sure, I’m leaving.”
3. “Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.”
4. “Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.”
5. “Hollywood is a place where they’ll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.”
6. “Money may not be able to buy happiness, but it’s much more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than a Kia.”
7. “I think they should have a sitcom where two actors just sit in front of a live audience and say, ‘Remember when?’”
8. “Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.”
9. “I was thrown out of NYU for cheating on my metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.”
10. “A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.”
11. “Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.”
12. “You don’t pay taxes – they take taxes.”
13. “Fallout is when you are so shocked, you forget to cry.”
14. “Love isn’t something you find. Love is something that finds you.”
15. “A woman’s best protection is a little money of her own.”
16. “The only real failure is the failure to try.”
17. “Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it I wash my mouth out with chocolate.”
18. “I think the world is run by C students.”
19. “The only thing wrong with the Ten Commandments is there’s only ten of them.”
20. “If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.”
21. “Surprises are foolish things. The pleasure is not enhanced and the inconvenience is often considerable.”
22. “A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.”
23. “The house of ill fame is the house that everyone visits.”
24. “Happiness isn’t something you experience; it’s something you remember.”
25. “When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.”
26. “You know, it’s no sin to take off your clothes in front of the mirror, if you don’t see your reflection.”
27. “A good manager is a man who isn’t worried about his own career but rather the careers of those who work for him.”
28. “Life is a slow death unless you know how to cheat it.”
29. “If it weren’t for my lawyer, I’d still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging.”
30. “I don’t think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday.”
31. “Everything comes to those who hustle while they wait.”
32. “The three most difficult things to do in life are to change your attitudes, your bank account and your religion.”
33. “It’s easy to be nice, even to an enemy – from a safe distance.”
34. “Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.”
35. “You can’t even trust your best friends to talk about you behind your back.”
36. “The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.”
37. “Happiness isn’t something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.”
38. “I’ll never be over the hill, I’m too darn tired to climb it”
39. “Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.”
40. “Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.”
41. “I always say beauty is only sin deep.”
42. “I took a quiz in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.”
43. “Acting is standing up naked and turning around very slowly.”
44. “You see things; and you say ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say ‘Why not?’”
45. “No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.”
46. “Life is too short for struggle.”
47. “If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.”
48. “Fear is not an emotion but an intuition.”
49. “I wouldn’t mind dying – it’s the business of having to stay dead that scares me.”
50. “Science is truth. Life is art.”
51. “Acting is the perfect idiot’s profession.”
Oscar Levant’s words of wisdom live on in these quotes. He was a multifaceted and highly quotable celebrity and will always be remembered. We hope these Oscar Levant quotes have made you smile and given you some much-needed thought-provoking perspective.
50+ Best Oscar Levant Quotes
Oscar Levant was a famous American pianist, composer, and actor. He was known for his wit and insight into show biz and the people who traverse its many worlds. Here are 50 of his best quotes that give an insight into the life of an entertainer.
On Life & Relationships
- “Happiness isn’t something you experience; it’s something you remember.”
- “I never make a mistake, I thought I did once but I was wrong.”
- “When you’re a star they let you do it. You can do anything.”
- “I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.”
- “It is a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.”
- “I made my mistakes, but in all my years of A-1 screw-ups, I’ve never wronged a person intentionally unless it was to do him a favor.”
- “I don’t mind what people say about me as long as they spell my name right.”
- “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.”
- “Life is a concentration camp. You’re stuck here and there’s no way out.”
On Success & Ambition
- “It’s not what you are, but what you don’t become that hurts.”
- “Success is not a good teacher, failure makes you humble.”
- “Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.”
- “Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.”
- “There is no point in making anything simpler than it is; nothing is absolutely simple.”
- “An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.”
- “I don’t care much about success; it’s the residue of failure.”
- “I just want to achieve enough success that I don’t have to think about it.”
- “There is no greatness where there is not simplicity, goodness, and truth.”
On Art & Music
- “Living well is the best revenge.”
- “I don’t want the audience to forget me… I want them to remember me for the wrong reasons.”
- “My piano playing is best no one can hear.”
- “An artist is a dreamer consenting to dream of the actual world.”
- “I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.”
- “The time to make up your mind about people is never.”
- “I can deal with the truth, it’s the lies on all sides that bother me.”
- “The purpose of art is to lay bare the questions which have been hidden by the answers.”
- “Any piano playing is better than none.”
On Wisdom & Perspective
- “I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it.”
- “It’s not what you are, but what you don’t become that hurts.”
- “No man can be a failure if he has friends.”
- “I never make a decision I’m not willing to make twice.”
- “A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something.”
- “If it wasn’t for worry, I’d have no fun at all.”
- “I wouldn’t recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they’ve always worked for me.”
- “You can be a sore loser and win for a change.”
- “The only things that are permanent are change and boredom.”
Oscar Levant was a man of wit and insight. He was able to capture the essence of life and all of its opportunities with simple and inspirational quotes. His wisdom is still relevant today and his words remain in the hearts of many.